Parshat Mishpatim lays out much of the civil law – how we treat our fellow men and opens with concept of a Jewish slave, or servant is a better term, and how he, or she, should be treated with dignity. The discussion then moves to the entitlement of man selling his daughter into service as a maidservant and here the Torah is very clear that it rejects the concept of ownership of the maidservant and if for any reason the master is displeased, he cannot just pass her on to someone else and must give her, her freedom. The Torah then tells us that if the master designates her for his son, he shall deal with her according to the law of the daughters of Israel, or if he takes another wife for himself, he shall not diminish her sustenance (she’era), her clothing (kesuta), or her marital relations.(ve’onata).
Interestingly, these three words form the basis of discussion over the ages as to the relationship between man and wife and the three words provide much leeway for interpretation. Onkelos and Rashi interpret as translated above, but Rashbam, of course, differs from his grandfather and translates “onata” as a place to live from the Hebrew word “ma’on.” The Ramban in a lengthy discussion, if I understand his train of thought, finds all these terms an expression of having a close relationship between husband and wife. All the issues of financial care and clothing being a clear obvious responsibility of marriage, having only needed to be formalized by our Talmudic sages. The Talmud Ketubot even goes to the length of discussing that a man must ensure that his wife has the right clothes for summer and winter.
Travelling through time to our modern commentators, we find much discussion of the financial and home responsibilities, unfortunately which are more often than not the subject discussed in court. The only one who I have found who takes a social and moral approach to essence of marriage and the place of woman in society is R Shimshon Raphael Hirsch. He opens with the importance that our scriptures take in regard to the exalted position of Jewish women in society. The Torah here mentions father and daughter and father and son, to stress the strength of family relationships and the care parents must take of their children and that a man can only marry off his daughter, when she comes of age and with her agreement. Only in the direst of circumstances, where the father literally has no shirt on his back, can he put his daughter into service.
He takes the phrase “the laws of the daughters of Israel (mishpat habanot)” and explains that through this was born the great principle that pronounces respect for the rights of women. A wife can rise in her station in marriage but not fall – no matter the size or lack of her dowry she has the right to live within the lifestyle of her husband’s standing in society or the lifestyle she was accustomed.
I think that the magic of these three words is that they can be explained in different ways and perhaps move with the times. Just as Rav Hirsch envisaged through these verses the emancipation and role of women, we can see how their role is changing in the world of today. The word she’era can be translated as other or addition as the women take on new responsibilities and are an essential part of the workforce. Kesuta translates as covering as women cover more roles in public life, and Onata as seasons, and just as the seasons change so do roles in society.
So, on this delicate issue of relationships between man and wife and the place of women in society, I think I will leave it to you all to discuss it at the Friday night supper table, where perhaps also the roles are changing. Certainly, for the cold winter we are having, Aviva bought me a woolly scarf and beanie cap, so cared for my clothing.